


Choked

by sunnynights



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Post-Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, fuck sazed, god kravitz and taako love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22593871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnynights/pseuds/sunnynights
Summary: After Taako's night terrors wake him again, he decides it's time to tell someone what happened
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Sazed/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 145





	Choked

**Author's Note:**

> cw: mentions of domestic abuse  
> PLEASE do not misinterpret my fic as "shipping" Taako and Sazed, or promoting abusive relationships in any way. Just telling a story

Elves technically don't sleep, they meditate. But the way Taako did it, sprawled luxuriantly across the bed with little regard for mental focus or the fact that he had taken over Kravitz's side, it may as well be considered sleeping. In the depths of this half slumber, that dream once again slunk its way into Taako's mind.

_He rolled his hips, pinned up against the side of the caravan. The night air of Glamour Springs felt cool against his exposed neck as Sazed pressed a trail of kisses into his skin. Taako bit his lip to keep from making too loud a sound._

_“Careful, my guy,” he exhaled, his fists full of Sazed’s shirt. “Paparazzi is always watching.”_

_Sazed nipped at Taako’s throat, drawing a sharper sigh from his lips. “Don’t worry,” he grinned. “No one will ever see you again.” He pointed over the crest of a hill. Taako followed his finger and saw the bodies. Adults, children, forty innocent souls. They coughed, choked, writhed. Their open eyes wordlessly reached for him. Taako pushed away from the man holding him._

_“You did this,” hissed Sazed, grabbing his arm._

_“No I didn’t,” Taako whimpered. “You did.” He tried to wrench his hand from Sazed, who only tightened his grasp. Bruises began to blossom across Taako’s wrist._

_“You made me. You couldn’t just let me have what I wanted.”_

_“Sazed, let me go.”_

_From the field of bodies came familiar faces. Lup and Barry. Magnus and Merle. Kravitz. Angus, fallen within reach of a crumpled box of shattered macarons. All looking up at Taako with hurt expressions, pleading dead eyes. Sazed laughed with malice and pulled him closer, his words a hot sneer against Taako's cheek. “Arrogant. Coward. You are nothing."_

He woke in a cold sweat, frantically twisting away from the frigid hands wrapped around him. Kravitz sat up, wide awake and alarmed.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Taako extricated himself from his blankets and rested his head on his knees, trying to steady his gasping breath.

Kravitz took his boyfriend's hand, interlaced their fingers. "Is this the same nightmare from before?" he asked gently. Taako nodded. "You know you can tell me anything."

Though it was dark in the room, Taako could see Kravitz clearly. Black silk pajamas, dreads tucked carefully into a bonnet. Handsome face creased with worry. They hadn’t known each other long but Taako trusted him so much. Kravitz was a good man, he would understand. This wouldn’t change anything, right?

“Krav, did you...a few years ago, did you have to pick up a bunch of souls from Glamour Springs?”

Kravitz thought for a minute, then nodded. "I remember. They were all poisoned."

"I was there when it happened. And for so long, I thought I did it. But it was Sazed,"

"Who's Sazed?"

Colleague felt like too little, lover felt like too much. "He was all I had for a long time."

Taako talked until the early hours of the morning, telling Kravitz about his life after the Voidfish redacted his memories. He told him about Sizzle It Up With Taako, about how much pride it brought him to be seen. About how Sazed looked at him like he hung the moon and stars. How he quickly became his driver, then right-hand man, then something more. How his eyes were full of admiration as he fawned over Taako, his oafish hands gentle on his body. How good it felt to be wanted, no, _needed._

But also how it changed when Sazed wanted more, a little slice of Taako's fame. Constant begging for chances to be on the show. Taako acquiesced at first, giving him a taste of the spotlight. The crowds picked up on Sazed's growing presence, asking questions about their relationship and straining to see every quick touch between them. Taako could feel his hold on his audience, their respect for his cooking and magic, slipping from his fingers. So when Sazed asked for even more, Taako shut him down. Sazed agreed to drop it, but things were different. Sex was a little too rough, apologies were a little too hollow, words were a little too sharp. And then silences, broken only by reminders that Taako would have nothing if it weren't for him.

Then, that fateful day in Glamour Springs. What happened wasn't his fault, June and the Temporal Chalice showed him that. It should have been freeing. But Taako couldn't help but feel that if he had been a little more tolerant, a little less prideful, he could have stopped it. Forty people. Young, old, all genders. Sazed could have just taken out his anger on him, someone that no one would miss. But to hurt people with family, people with loved ones waiting for them to come home?

Taako jumped into the caravan the second the first person got sick. For two straight days he didn't eat, he didn't sleep. He didn't rise from his bed except to race to the window and retch out of anxiety. Every gag came with the hope that he would perish too. Sazed filled the silence with his own words. _Coward. Stupid. Reckless. Failure. Murderer._ At the first settlement they reached, Sazed abandoned him. Taako kept his head down, did odd jobs, until he ended up employed alongside Magnus and Merle. And though he felt something with them, stronger than anything he had ever felt before, he didn't allow himself to trust anyone completely. He didn't allow anyone to get too close, and when they did anyways he promised himself he wouldn't cook for them.

Kravitz knew the rest of the story. He knew funny, vain, disaffected Taako. He knew the elf confident enough to hit on him while he was about to reap their souls, the one that could turn a business meeting about the fate of his life into a first date. He had seen Taako kick the apocalypse's ass, accomplish impossible arcane feats, turn frustration into towering cakes and hilarious shenanigans, and even speak freely and vulnerably when no one but him was listening. But _sweet Raven Queen_ he couldn't bear to see Taako hurting like this.

"Taako, I'm so sorry." He held his shaking hands, kissing them lightly. "My prince. Nothing that happened was your fault. You are so strong, and you've done so much good. Everyone loves you. I love you. And until you believe it for yourself, I'll keep reminding you.”

Taako didn’t respond, he just slumped against Kravitz’s chest. Kravitz could feel the wetness of his tears, the quiet rumble of an _I love you_ in return. They sat, intertwined in each other, until the sun breached the horizon. Elves technically don't sleep, but it was the closest Taako had gotten to a peaceful rest in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Justin McElroy: *makes a throwaway goof about Taako using a sleeping sack bc of night terrors*  
> me: time to hurt


End file.
